Spongebob: A Story of Pants, Friendship, Trust, and Love
by DuncMasterPhil
Summary: How will Squidward deal with reality when his entire world is turned upside down? When his greatest enemy turns into his greatest love, will he be able to abandon his former romance in pursuit of his current interest?


As the sun rose, and the clams started chirping, a lone squid awakened, hearing the blaring noises of his old-fashioned alarm clock. "Shaddup" Squidward said, pressing down on the snooze button of his alarm. "Another morning, another day having to deal with that asshole." Squidward opened his eyes, feeling lethargic, but steadily preparing to face the world. The idea of having to work with that freak again today made it more difficult to leave bed, let alone the privacy and seclusion of his own home. "At least I can start the day off right by filling the world with music using the love of my life, the clarinet." He left his bed, going through the motions of his daily routine: first, a shower, then he brushed his teeth and put on his favorite shirt. "It still smells like him…" Squidward proclaimed, then blushed, basking in the memories of a better time. Squidward still missed Squilliam, the first cephalopod that made Squidward think about life from a positive light. He remembered coming out to his parents, and even though they were angry and wouldn't accept Squidward for who he was, he still regarded it as a good memory. "Better than living a lie, I guess." Squidward solemnly whispered to himself, continuing his daily duties.

At the side of his bed, Squidward kept some of his beautiful self-portraits, true works of art as far as he was concerned. Behind those paintings, though, was something much more valuable. Turning the dial to the padlock installed to his wall safe, Squidward envisioned the joy he felt every time he played his clarinet. He opened the safe to find that it was empty. No clarinet, not even the case. "W-where is Clarey? Where is my clarinet?!" Squidward shouted, panicking over the loss of the only thing that seemed to make his life worthwhile. "I fucking swear to Neptune, if it's that-" suddenly, the shrill sound of a badly tuned clarinet filled the air, and assaulted Squidward's eardrums. Looking out the window, he discovered the culprit behind the kidnapping: Spongebob.

Down below, on the side of the street, Spongebob continued wailing on Squidward's clarinet. The filthy noises easily passing through the thin walls of Squidward's house, infiltrating his ears and clouding his mind with anger. He stamped down the stairs to the living room of his house, charging his front door with the force of a hurricane, ready to blow down his intrusive neighbor for defiling the sanctity of his home. "Spongebob! How dare y-" Squidward was cut off midway by the continuing sirens coming from the clarinet still held tightly between Spongebob's puckered lips. "Give me that!" Squidward demanded, reaching to snatch away his precious instrument from the clutches of his neighbor's disgusting, greasy hands. Now holding his rescued friend, Squidward glanced at Patrick, who had watched the whole ordeal silently, and said "Why are you dressed like an emo bitch for the fifth day in a row?" Patrick rebutted, adjusting his forehead protector "it's not emo, it's _Sasuke_ from _Naruto_ , not that you would know anything about good taste, you probably just watch shit like _One Piece_ or _Green Green._ " Squidward, ignoring Patrick's comments, leaned down, determined to give Spongebob a final piece of his mind before work. "Look me in the eyes, _Fuckbob_ , and listen closely. I am tired of your bullshit, I don't want to hear a _peep_ from you at the Krusty Krab, do you understand me?" Spongebob looked back nervously, starting to perspire, "Yes, Squidward- _kun_ , _gozaimasen deshita_ , I understand." Squidward smacked Spongebob on the side of his head, "Stop with the weeaboo shit, Sponge _boob_. Maybe it'll be easier to make friends other than the retard who literally lives under a rock." He turned around to reenter his house, spitting at Spongebob and Patrick, and went to the kitchen to clean his sullied clarinet.

As Spongebob recovered from the shock of getting yelled at by Squidward, he turned to Patrick, his best friend. " _Paturickuu-senpai_ , do you think he meant it? That talking like they do in those shows isn't cool- _desu_?" Patrick looked back to his favorite companion, his " _Nakama_ " as he regularly referred to Spongebob, as well as most of the residents in the fair city of Bikini Bottom. "No way, _kouhai_! He just doesn't know what he's talking about, the fucking _normie_! Now, let's go back to my house and watch SAO again." Spongebob smiled, reassured that his interests weren't odd by any standards held by the average person. "Ya know, Patrick- _sama_? I'm glad you brought over those dvd's you found in the trash. But, even more than that, I'm glad you're my _tomodachi_." The pair rotated toward Patrick's rock, bent over, and raised their arms behind their backs before sprinting in that direction. As they approached their destination, both members of the two-person squad out of breath, a sound filled the air. A chorus of angels seemingly descended around Spongebob, blowing their ethereal trumpets into his ear holes. The sound wasn't a trumpet, though. In fact, it was Squidward's clarinet. Spongebob grasped Patrick's hand, gripping it tightly and staring wide-eyed back at Squidward's bedroom window: the source of the melody. "Patrick- _san_ … Is that?" Patrick looked down at the astonished sponge, realizing what he was referring to a few moments slower than normal. " _hai_ , it's an… _indirect kiss_."

Walking into work nearly two hours later, Squidward hadn't quite shaken his previously felt rage. "How could he think that was a good idea? He's so inconsiderate all the time, I wish I had a better neighbor. But, at least now Clarey is safe with me." He said, pulling his beloved clarinet out of the pocket of his shirt. Looking ahead, into the Krusty Krab: the place where dreams and diets went to die. "Another day, another penny" he said under his breath, hoping the same bit of humor he used every day to make it through would hold him above water once again. Spongebob was back in the kitchen, preparing for the coming rush of patrons to the shabby so-called "restaurant". "If he leaves me alone like I told him, this day might go a bit better than normal." Squidward sighed, putting on his name tag and hat, taking his post behind the boat-shaped workstation, retrieving a magazine from under the register and replacing it with his uncased clarinet.

After the initial wave of customers made their way through the restaurant, Squidward's lunch break was soon upcoming. He reached to his shelf under the register to simply feel the comforting sensation of the hard wood he so desired. But, there was nothing. He twisted around to see Spongebob once again with his clarinet in his hands. "What are you doing?!" Squidward shouted, reviving his rage toward his bastard of a neighbor before jumping through the window at him. "I said it before and I'll say it again, Sponge _dork_ , but I'm tired of your shit, now give me back my clarinet!" Spongebob stayed in the back corner of the kitchen with the clarinet against his face, but he wasn't trying to play it. Instead, Spongebob was smelling the reed, still fresh with the scent of Squidward's saliva from his morning practice. He turned to see Squidward coming toward him, oblivious of his transgressions. Spongebob thought that he was going to be praised, and maybe their indirect kiss would be further developed. In a final effort to make his newly beloved Squidward realize the feelings Spongebob held for him were mutual, he put the clarinet to his soft, tender lips and started to blow. But, Squidward had no intention of hearing Spongebob's pleads for mercy, his shenanigans were ending today. With a swift right hook, Squidward planted his fist into Spongebob's side, sinking into his porous body.

Spongebob looked back to Squidward, tears welling up in his eyes. "Squidward- _chan_ … _gomen_ , I didn't realize you were so upset with me. I'll make it _daijoubu_ however I can, _dattebayo_." Squidward looked down at the groveling sponge, more frustrated than vengeful, "There's nothing you could do to make it up to me, just leave me alone." Spongebob, feeling a constant wave of guilt, noticed the phrasing of Squidward's last comment. He remembered something similar from another anime that Patrick had showed him previously: "Boku No Pico". He set the clarinet down on the counter that normally held patty buns as his breathing became ragged and his face heated up. He laid a hand against Squidward's squishy abdomen and started rubbing circles on his belly. "Spongebob, what the hell do you think you're doing?" Squidward spat, swatting at Spongebob's hands and face. "Don't worry, _otou-san_ , it'll be _dattebayo, daijoubu._ " He inserted his hand under Squidward's shirt, ignoring the smacks he was receiving from the tentacled lover, "Why do you have to be such a _tsundere,_ Squidward- _chan desu?"_ Squidward, panting from the struggle of extracting himself from Spongebob, bellowed "I don't know what that means, but fuck you, Spongebob."

Spongebob, with a red face, lifted Squidward's shirt, smirking, then grinning with glee at the sight before him. Squidward's cock tip shined pink against his pale blue skin, slightly twitching. As Spongebob circled it with his finger, the head widened, and more of the cephalopod's bulbous dick, not unlike his nose, separated from the rest of his body. Seemingly infinite amounts of peen grew out of Squidward's pelvis, while he continued to struggle against the death-grip Spongebob had on him. Already with over a meter of Squidward's whistle in his face, Spongebob started drooling, craving the cock juice he so desperately needed. Pre-cum began dripping from Squidward's cock, quickly turning to a drizzle on Spongebob's nose. Spongebob, intoxicated by the smell of Squidward, thought of the best way to fully enjoy his scent. Scooping up some of the pre from the floor, he lathered his nose from tip to nostril and readied it up against the tip of Squidward's enlarged dick. He inserted the whole of his sniffer through his urethra. Squidward braced, unable to speak from the pain and discomfort of the penile impalement he received, while Spongebob continued to plow Squidward from the front.

"Fucking Squidward's _inkei_ with my nose feels so much more _kimochi_ than I thought it would, _desuga_!" Spongebob thought, his mind turning fuzzy with pleasure while his pants grew tighter and tighter until his cock pushed against the fabric uncomfortably. Squidward, losing blood pressure from the constantly growing erection, started losing his balance, falling on top of Spongebob, dick first. He fainted, but not without a final word at his attacker, "Fuck… You, Sponge… Dipshi-". Spongebob embraced Squidward's lower tentacles, happy that his newfound lover finally gave him permission to do as he pleased. Vacating his honker from the squid's ankle-spanker, Spongebob opened his mouth, ready to receive the love he so desired. "They don't make them like this in the _Nihon. ITADAKIMASUUU!_ " He shouted, before devouring the whole of Squidward's eel that reached into his stomach, stretching his body to welcome the entirety of Squidward's meat. Unable to stop his jaw from locking, Spongebob's teeth began choking the veins in Squidward's clarinet, cutting off circulation and creating a knot of built up blood at the base of his boner.

Already gagging on the overinflated blue pickle, Spongebob reached between his own legs to free his skin flute from the tight packaging of his clothes. Liberating his willy, and nearly cumming from the release of pressure, Spongebob relaxed his jaw, allowing the ball of blood built up in front of his buck teeth to pass to Squidward's dong. Immediately, his sea-snake inflated, filling spongebob's intestines and contorting his body to take the shape of the winding schlong. Feeling Squidward's sex fill him entirely, nearly coming to an exit from his rear, Spongebob began losing consciousness. Fighting to breathe and stay awake to enjoy the love he was receiving from his dearest, he clenched his already taut asshole, not willing to allow the boomstick to leave his rectum. But, Squidward's blue-veined sausage proved too much for Spongebob to handle and, using the already leaking pre-cum as lubricant, broke through his firm, compact bootyhole. Spongebob's anus stretched, giving birth to Squidward's humongous baby arm that grew beyond the confines of Spongebob's body. With no ability to speak, Spongebob thought "Is this what it feels like to be spit roasted?" Squidward's cyclops shot out streams of ejaculate, coating the walls of the dingy restaurant's kitchen, as well as the two tangled in heat. Some landed on the grill, quickly browning, and filling the room with a dank smell comparable to a teenaged boy's bedroom after he first found out about masturbation.

Squidward's disco stick, post-ejaculation, began shrinking back to his body. Upon reaching his chocolate starfish, the still-awake sponge gave a push against his captive lover's torso, popping the dagger back within his bum. Retracting through Spongebob's intestines, untwisting the infatuated sponge simultaneously, Squidward's dick snapped back to his crotch, returning to the depths from which it came. Spongebob laid on the dirty floor of his beloved kitchen, still clutching the man who took his virginity from him tightly against his spunk-covered body. " _Watashi wa no_ love in my _koroko_ for _desu_ , Squidward- _senpai_." Squidward, eyes bloodshot and mouth agape, couldn't move. His blood pressure was finally returning to normal after the ordeal his overexcited serpent put him through. Slowly regaining his composure, he sat upright, feeling a soreness in his pelvis, as well as a splitting migraine. He looked down at the Sponge, disgusted at what he knew just occurred, although he wasn't conscious for most of it. Wiping the sticky pearl liquid from his arms and torso, Squidward stood, overwhelmed by the whole experience, and searching for an avenue to escape through.

"Spongebob, clean up this mess immediately. I'm going to cleanse myself of this… _sin_ in the bathroom, and when I come back, I expect the kitchen to be spotless. Understood?" "Yes, master… anything for you." Spongebob whispered before surveying the scene. He cracked his knuckles, determined to make his lord proud of him. "Well… I am a sponge, after all. I might as well just soak this up and save it all for later, as a reminder of our love." He got down on his belly, setting his feet against the side of the grill. Pushing off, his porous body collected the expelled semen, bloating his body with its liquid mass. He grabbed jars from the pickle shelf and dumped their contents on the ground. He entered the storage room, afraid to let the customers see what he was doing. "The walls still need to be cleaned. But, I'll take care of that after I empty myself right now." Then, twisting, Spongebob wringed himself of the baby batter, filling more than a dozen jars in the process.

Squidward lightly stepped out of the kitchen to the bathrooms the customers used, trying to hide his face from the glares of the unserved guests. He attempted to open the door, but it was locked. Banging on the door, Squidward heard a sound from the other side: a soft moaning, accompanied by a smacking sound that grew faster the longer he listened. After a final groan, the sounds stopped altogether, and were replaced by steps toward the door Squidward was glued to. The door opened to reveal a lone lobster: Larry, looking down at Squidward who pathetically tried to cover his face to hide his shame. "Hey, buddy, there's nothing to be ashamed about! Just because you can never be as handsome, or as buff as me doesn't mean there's any reason to pout!" Reaching down to wrestle Squidward's tentacles away from his face, Larry energetically commanded "Now, show me your game face!" He pulled the suction cups off Squidward's face, revealing a white-painted mess, with globs of jizzum still falling to the floor. Larry stepped to the side as Squidward ran past him into the bathroom, crying from being found out.

Larry went to the store head to make his order, but no one was manning the register. After waiting for what seemed like an eternity, he decided to take matters into his own hands. He left the growing line of fish and approached the door to the kitchen. Without hesitation, he pushed open the entrance to the room and looked around, searching for an employee he could give his order to, but only finding a mess on the floors and walls. "Is this… Pickle juice?" he wondered aloud, observing the stained floorboards of the kitchen, and smelling the vinegar from the emptied jars. Suddenly, a smell perturbed his nostrils, taking him aback. He covered his nose with his big, meaty claws and stepped closer to the wall to examine the source of the scent. Picking at the wall with his claw, some of the white slipped off, falling in gelatinous drops onto his board shorts, and the floor boards beneath him. "Oh, god… Is… Is this…? I'm gonna fucking puke." He turned to find a trash can, and fell to his knees before it, vomiting into the bag full of expired ingredients.

Spongebob snapped around in the storage room, hearing someone walking in the kitchen. "Those steps don't sound like my _husbando's_ , it must be an intruder. They can't see what happened here. They can't know about our secret." He crept to the door, cracking it open to use as a peephole. Looking through to the kitchen, he saw Larry lurched over a trash can, retching. "Larry, you were always my _nakama,_ so it pains me to have to do this." Slowly, Spongebob snuck behind Larry, looking for an open spot to attack. He grabbed Larry from behind and wrapped his pencil-thin arms around his neck, trying to choke him out. Larry turned, using his claws to grasp Spongebob, and then threw him against the wall they both now faced. "What the hell do you think you're doing, Spongebob? It's me: Larry! I'm your friend!" Spongebob stood up, his back covered in the sticky from the wall he hit, leaving an imprint the shape of his body against the white backdrop. Spongebob grabbed two kunai knives and brandished them against his foe, waiting for his next move. Larry simply walked toward the sponge, slamming one of his oversized claws against the wall behind Spongebob, making sure to put it within the safe zone from the cum-paint.

"Spongebob, what's wrong? Aren't you my bro, bro? Why are you trying to attack me?" Spongebob looked up at the monstrous lobster and dropped his weapons. "You're my… _tomodachi?"_ He said, weaponizing his patented puppy dog eyes. "Well, Spongebob, yeah. But… I always thought I could be more than that… if you want. B-but not like dating or something, just like two dudes being dudes, ya know?" Spongebob pulled his head back in surprise at the sudden proposal, "more than friends?" he thought, "But, what about Squidward? What would he think?" Larry, without waiting for a response from the blushing sponge, leaned down and kissed him. Spongebob jolted back, "Larry, no. The only one for me is Squidward, he's my _Sōrumeito."_ Larry grabbed Spongebob by the sides and slammed him against the ground, forcing his weight on the sponge's small body, and forcing his lips against the sponge's as well. "Can you do me a solid, my dude?" Larry said, removing his shorts with one claw while using the other to lift Spongebob, and then choking him, "you see, it's been a really long time since I've gotten laid, and I was hoping you could help me out with that. But not in a gay way."

Spongebob, unable to breathe, nodded and looked down at Larry's exposed prick. It was red and jagged, with a narrow head that sloped to a point at the end of the small, four inch chode. "Well, I guess it's better than nothing." Spongebob thought, envisioning the glorious staff of his beloved Squidward. "You know what they say, Spongedude, 'it ain't gonna suck itself.'" He pushed Spongebob down to his knees and shoved his fully erect dinkie in his sub's face. Spongebob opened his mouth wide-too wide for the small package he was about to receive-and put his lips against Larry's hard, exoskeleton crotch. "No, wait. I have a better idea. None of this gay shit." Larry said, flipping Spongebob over to his stomach and grabbing a spatula. "I was with this one dud- I mean I was with this one chick and she was totally a freak, I'm not gay, but anyway h-she had a whip and some ropes and totally tied me up and kicked the shit out of me, I thought that'd be a cool thing to try out with my best no homo-bromo." He grabbed some rope from a shelf and bound Spongebob to a pipe sticking out of the wall behind them, turning him to face the wall. Using the spatula as a whip, Larry spanked Spongebob's ass. Once his cheeks were red and welted, Larry shoved Spongebob's head down to the ground and stomped his face to the floorboards. Shouting "I'M GOING IN DRY!" Larry penetrated his loose asshole, keeping his foot planted into the back of his skull. "Wow, Squidward must be impressive. Then again, there's no way he's nearly as good as me, because I get pussy all the time, because I'm not gay." Larry drove his member into the sponge, keeping his foot on the back of his head, and pushing it in with enough force to create new holes in Spongebob's porous body. After about thirty seconds Larry removed his pointed foot from his bitch boy's back and started donkey punching him instead. "God, you're so fucking good, you little fucking twink. Almost as good as that hoe: Pearl. I think it's time for my secret move: the jackhammer." For another ten seconds, Larry slightly jolted back and forth inside of Spongebob's anal cavity before spraying his man-milk inside. "Only a few drops… That won't do," Spongebob thought, even more disappointed than before, "if only Squidward came back, we'd be stocked for a month."

Larry fell back, exhausted from the pummeling he gave Spongebob. He sighed, laying back and said, "No homo" under his breath before falling into a deep sleep. Spongebob lifted himself to his knees and undid his rope bonds. A switch had flipped inside his brain during the terrible "sex". He was no longer interested in childish things like anime, instead, he wanted only two things: to fuck and make burgers. Spongebob approached Larry's sleeping body and opened his mouth, forcing the yellow, still erect, rod into the wet crevice. Like a piston, Spongebob wiggled his jiggler in Larry's mouth, getting close to ejaculation. "Spongebob what the fuck are you doing?!" Squidward shouted, reentering the room. "First me, and now him? You slut! You whore!" He kept shouting obscenities while sinking to the ground, pulling his knees to cover his now-clean face. "At first I was so angry with you, you spongey dickbag. But, as I thought about it, I realized that maybe there was more to what we did than just mindless fucking. Maybe, I was ready to move on from… Squilliam. I thought that maybe it could be us two, together! But now I see the truth. You're just an animal that will stop at nothing if it means getting off." Squidward began sobbing, screaming about the love he was forced to have that was now being stolen from him. Spongebob approached, still hard, and tried to comfort him with a hand on his shoulder. "Squidward, if it'll make you happy, I'll stop with Larry immediately. You'll never have to hear or see him again." Squidward sniffled, eyes still red and breath still ragged from his fit, "No, I don't want you anymore, I just want you to leave me alone forever."

Spongebob sat down next to the upset squid, shaft still rising high above his lap, and started caressing Squidward's tentacles. He grabbed ahold of one the tentacles, moving the suckers toward his crotch, and planting them against the side of his banana. Spongebob used Squidwards body to masturbate himself, and when he was close, he stood to face Squidward. Spongebob grabbed Squidward by his head, forcing him to swallow the whole hog at once. Barely a minute had passed when Spongebob yelled "TASTE MY SECRET FORMULA!" throwing his head back and shooting shot after shot of hot jizz down Squidward's throat. Squidward pushed back and coughed, spitting out drops of cum, and angrily gripping Spongebob by the top of his head.

As Squidward prepared to scream in Spongebob's face, a voice rang out clearly, "What do you mean, secret formula?" The duo turned to see Larry, fully conscious and sitting upright, mouth agape with a horrified look in his eyes. "You meant that as just a euphemism, right, bro?" He said, looking back at Spongebob, who returned his gaze with cold, dead eyes. Spongebob left Squidward's side, walking across the kitchen to Larry, who sat in place, too shocked to move. Squatting to meet the goliath's eyes, Spongebob spoke quietly, but clearly, "Those who know the secret of the krabby patty must not be allowed to live." He grabbed Larry's head with a vice-like grip, holding the petrified lobster in place. No matter how much he struggled, Larry couldn't break free. As Spongebob opened his mouth, an echoing chant filled the room, growing in volume until the sound pierced Larry's eardrums "No one must know the secret formula". Spongebob lightly placed his mouth on the top of Larry's head, unhinging his jaw like an anaconda and sinking down until he reached the jagged nose of his victim. Loosening his grip on Larry's cranium, Spongebob used his left hand to snap the protrusion, allowing him to pass over the rest of Larry's face, suffocating him until he lost consciousness.

Using his right hand, Spongebob reached toward Larry's member, "Might as well make his last memories somewhat enjoyable", he thought. He started stroking the short Johnson, feeling it twitch shortly after beginning, and soon after, blowing a fresh load on the floors of the kitchen. Squidward looked, shocked and pleased at the sight before him. 'Sure, my only love rival is being destroyed right in front of me, but does this mean Larry is a special case? Would Spongebob do this kind of service for me?' He thought, concerned but with a devious grin growing across his lips. Spongebob continued down Larry's body, using the muscles in his throat to break all the bones he passed. Contorting the statuesque lobster's body to fit inside the dwarfed sponge's gullet. As more of Larry's shell was consumed, Spongebob's soft body conformed to the shape of the muscled crustacean. Growing and obtaining the same muscle tone his victim held pre-mortem. Encroaching on the feet of the toy, cold, dead, and naked lobster, Spongebob turned to face Squidward, returning his gaze and smile as the last part of Larry's toes entered Spongebob's ravenous foodhole.

Looking like the bara that the previous Spongebob always dreamed of being, he approached Squidward, who had stood to meet his lover's embrace. In his favorite man's grasp, Squidward found himself being squished by the newfound bulging biceps Spongebob held. "Don't worry, my sweet child, I'll take care of you," Spongebob said, turning around the blissful squid to rest his hands on a nearby shelf. Luckily, the one thing that Spongebob hadn't attained from his absorption of Larry was his miniature penis. Spongebob went to the grill he so fondly cooked burgers on and scooped some grease from the still warm surface. Coating it on his throbbing cock, he approached Squidward, wrapping his hands around his love's throat and wringing his neck until his vision went dark. At the last moment before Squidward fell unconscious, Spongebob penetrated him with his greasy, thicc dick and released the grip on his neck. Squidward almost immediately came from the pleasure of being fucked by someone who loved him so thoroughly, a feeling he had only felt once before: with Squilliam. A somber expression spread across his face, reminiscing in the times he once had with his past love. "Squidward, how is it?" Spongebob asked, an impish grin on his lips, not seeing the woeful eyes his pet's face contained.

As Squidward continued to think back, he remembered something. He remembered every time Squilliam yelled at him, every time Squilliam slapped him for not doing as he said, and every time Squilliam insulted his clarinet playing. Squidward realized that the relationship he now had with Spongebob was a much better situation than what he thought he wanted. Squidward looked back at the thrusting, buff sponge and smiled, a single tear sliding down his cheek, "I love you, Spongebob… Now plow me like the bitch I am." With that, Squidward flipped to wrap his legs around Spongebob's waist and his upper tentacles around his neck, using his suction cups to stay attached to his lover's hips that moved like pistons. Dragging him down into a deep kiss, Squidward thought, 'This is the spong- no, the man that I want to be with for the rest of my life.' As images of wedding gowns and flower crowns flashed through his mind, Squidward didn't even notice the door opening. Mr. Krabs entered the kitchen, observing his subordinates hard at work to raise company morale. He stood there until Spongebob growled with the deepest voice he could muster, "Taste my secret formula, Squidward." On the moment of the couple's completion, Mr. Krabs put his claw on Spongebob's shoulder, beckoning him to exit Squidward and follow him to his office.

Once inside, the frugal crab started to lecture the oversized sponge. "Boy, you can't go around saying that kind of thing. I was watching the whole situation with that lobster from before, and I'm impressed with how you handled it. So, I'm giving you a raise, now you'll make an entire quarter for every hour you work here. Just keep in mind that if you ever let our little company secret slip again, I'll have to take care of you myself. Now, spit out that oversized entrée and get back to work, the line is growing and so are the customers' appetites." Spongebob left the office to return to his workstation, happy with how the situation worked out. He opened his mouth, vacating the lobster's meat from inside his own distended intestines, but keeping the shell for himself. "I'd like to stay this size for a bit longer, if only for Squidward," he said, waving through the window at his lover. He grabbed a handful of the evacuated meat and squished it into a patty, tenderly placing it on the grill to cook and coating the meat with the special sauce he obtained from the love of his life.

From the wall behind the cook, the mess that still adorned the kitchen like a trophy to the times spent mindlessly fucking started moving. A single glop fell, and green antennae sprouted from the top. A single arm appeared from the side, using it as a squeegee to reveal a menacing eye. Plankton finished shaking off the rest of the splooge from his body, mumbling to himself "I am disgusted. I am offended. And honestly, I am shocked. I don't even want to make krabby patties anymore, I've had my fill of cum for a lifetime and I never want to see another drop so long as I live." Plankton left through the way he came, a small hole in the wall that lead directly outside, and returned to his home with his computer-wife: Karen. "Karen, I'm home," he said, entering the Chum Bucket, "you'll never believe the shit I witnessed today. I'm going to need a soothing bath to forget this. Karen, could you heat up the bathtub and get my lobotomizing hammer?"

Fin.


End file.
